Tears of Fear
I can’t help but feel with each passing day I am a day closer to being induced. I should be thinking that with each passing day I am a day closer to meeting my baby but an induction terrifies me and so that is what the count down seems to be for. I want to go into labor on my own, I want her to come when she is ready. I don’t want them telling me I have to have her by this day or else they will get her out. I am scared of a c-section. I am afraid she rather come closer to 42 weeks, and they will only give her just after 41. So I sit in fear crying my eyes out because the count down to the 12th is getting closer. I will be 27 on the 13th and that doesn’t even register. All I know is I am ready to meet her and want her to come out, but on her own without all the drugs. Please Addison, come out soon for mommy, on your own and healthy.
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Saddness at Waiting
Okay this is going to be short and sweet. I have been feeling blue today over not going into labor yet. I am done, not that I am tired of being pregnant. I want to meet her and I want to meet her naturally without induction. I want to go into labor on my own and I want to meet my little girl. So I am a bit blue today.
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Welcome to my EDD
Today is my estimated due date and I would like to welcome you all to the party in my tummy. Addison is enjoying the warmth of being inside there and is rather snug. Making no apparent signs of vacating any time soon, no dropping, no (excuse the tmi) mucus plug loss or bloody show and no painful contractions! Woo. Okay, I am getting impatient. I can’t help it. I had hoped to meet her by now. I am not tired of being pregnant, I just want to hold my daughter. Wow, my daughter. So weird to say. I still just want to meet her and hold her and let her change my world. I am also scared of her waiting too long and doctor wanting to induce me. I don’t want to be induced but I am afraid to tell him no and have him tell me to find a new doctor. It is a little late in the game for that. So I hope she comes soon.
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Happy New Year!
I went to bed early and listened to the rain and fireworks. Yup I am a party animal. Also I was having some bathroom trouble either that was brought on my contractions I was having or brought on the contractions (but not labor or a baby). All I have to say is the pain of that was horrible and I can’t imagine how the women who drink castor oil to induce labor must feel cause that just sucked. I hope everyone has a great day.
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Still Cooking
Yesterday’s NST went well. Addison was very active and had good responses. Needless to say she is still cooking. Can’t help but feel anxious but what can you do. I don’t want her to come out before she is ready but lets hope she is ready before the doctor. Payday means time to go buy some food which is good cause we need it. Not much else has been happening with me, just sitting and waiting, walking and waiting, boom boom and waiting. So happy New Year’s Eve and may the new year bring great things!
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Trials & Trips 