Strange Longings

28Feb09

I have been holding my breath in suspense this past week.  I haven’t come on to type anything for fear that I would spill my hopes, dreams and fears to only find that it was another month of disappointment.  Well,  I seem to have found my way to disappointment again but at least I strung no one else along for the ride.  Well, except for my husband.  Then again he is always along for the ride.

M was home during the week this month and I had great hope that this month would be the month for us to start expanding our family.  I had been to the doctor and she didn’t seem too overly concerned about my heart rate and I had started working out.  I am trying to improve my health and have been doing the “My Fitness Coach” for 5 days a week for 3 weeks now.  I am proud of myself though I don’t see any changes just yet.  I digress, the point being I am prepping my body and thought it might help me get pregnant. 

Then some weird stuff started happening.  Four days prior to when I should have started (Today being the day I should have started) I started to get light spotting and sharp jabbing pains.  Now two days prior to that M and had sex and I started having period like cramping and told him that I couldn’t go on.  I have never had that happen before and no spotting until two days later when the jabbing pain started.  It wasn’t unbearable pain but it was unusual pain.  Then on the third day of spotting I got a full on flow with light/moderate cramping and now I am almost done with my period, if that is what it is.  I have been experiencing weird abdominal pains all during it.

So I have still bought pregnancy tests because I just want to double check (and I still have a bit of hope) since everything has been abnormal.  It sucks knowing that it won’t be until April that we can try again.  I wonder why it is just not happening.  I hope the exercising will help get my body in shape and prepared for a baby.

I have made myself a promise.  If I loose 10lbs and get my body into shape like I want then I am going to get a belly button ring, and pay for some tanning.  Oh yeah.  M heard my belly button ring idea and the biggest smile broke out on his face.  So I have one month to do it.  I want an awesome stomach before I get it so I am excited about this.

Not much else has been going on.  Just trying to sell M’s truck and do our taxes which is a headache in itself.

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