Me and my freaking stubbornness

24Nov08

So crapy nights sleep.  I think it was because M wasn’t there and I felt guilty and just wanted to make everything better but couldn’t.  I fear that I am pushing him away by being my emotional stubborn self. He is stubborn too which doesn’t help but at least his stubbornness has kept him around through all my tantrums and emotional mood swings.

The latest topic of drama?  Holidays and where we are spending them.  He decided he wanted to visit half of the people in his old town and I flipped out because it sounded like it was going to take at least 2 days of our vacation and we only have 4 days that don’t include travel to visit with friends and family.  I was upset because I wanted to spend a little bit more than just two days with my family.  I told him in the future if this is something he wants to do then we need to take a longer vacation so that I don’t feel like I have to cut short the time I get with my family.  Granted that was what was stated at the end of argument/fight that ruined the weekend, at least for me.  He could understand that.  I think he is going to try and go golfing with most of his buddies on Friday and then Saturday we will go up and visit the other set.  That gives me 3 full days with my parents which I need badly.  I told him, and meant it, that I don’t resent him for moving me away from my family because I chose to follow him, that was my choice.  I just tend to resent him when he decides he wants to take 4 days of vacation and see 20 different people when I just want to spend time with my family and his adoptive family not all of his friends.  I think he understood.  I hope he does.  I love him, I don’t want this to cause more problems between us.

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