What isn’t going on in my head


I had a few things going through my head.  Jobs, babies, family and significant others.  I love M and we are still learning to get into each others grove which includes the house cleaning.  Right now it is my job to keep the house clean, and I accept that cause I don’t have a job.  I just want my time off from doing a couple chores on the weekend.  I want a child with M but I am scared to death of having a child right now or in 9 months.  Once the training is over then maybe.  I want to have a house and know that we will be okay without my working for a bit.  I am also suddenly terrified of his mom moving in with us at some point and keep throwing fits about it.  I also feel like shit having to look for a job.  I hate it.  I just want the employment agency to find me one but M has gone out and met some people and asked if they were hiring and got a card because they are so now I feel obligated to call, even though I have already applied there and heard nothing back now I get to call and beg.  Sweet.  I just love that.  Why can’t I win a small lottery.  You know maybe $25,000.  Enough to get us into a house or just pay off some bills.  Then I can continue to sit on my ass.  Though while sitting on my ass I have been able to think of small business I would start should we be staying here.  They lack a women’s intimate apparel store.  At least that I can tell.  I wouldn’t mind opening one up.  Sell intimate apparel and some extra “accessories.”  Yeah, that is what has been going on in my head.


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