One of the Club Members

So, since getting the wonderful faint pink line I have felt like I am  apart of a whole new group.  Moms.  I feel like I have been let into some secret club that I never knew how bad I wanted to be apart of.  I am not even 5 weeks yet but I am buying books and posting in forums.  I wonder if this has anything to do with not be part of the in crowd growing up. . .now I can perfect my secret hand shake and secret language.  Yes, I will be posting photos to follow the progress of the pregnancy but I don’t feel it shall become all about the pregnancy here.  I mean according to the other secret members we have to keep some secrets or no one else will secretly wish to join.  I am a dork, I know.

In other news my hubby and I take off for down south tomorrow to visit my folks and my friend Lynn.  I got her a cool gift, but maybe that is just because I liked it.  Not much else going on.  I still lead a boring life.

Strange Longings

I have been holding my breath in suspense this past week.  I haven’t come on to type anything for fear that I would spill my hopes, dreams and fears to only find that it was another month of disappointment.  Well,  I seem to have found my way to disappointment again but at least I strung no one else along for the ride.  Well, except for my husband.  Then again he is always along for the ride.

M was home during the week this month and I had great hope that this month would be the month for us to start expanding our family.  I had been to the doctor and she didn’t seem too overly concerned about my heart rate and I had started working out.  I am trying to improve my health and have been doing the “My Fitness Coach” for 5 days a week for 3 weeks now.  I am proud of myself though I don’t see any changes just yet.  I digress, the point being I am prepping my body and thought it might help me get pregnant. 

Then some weird stuff started happening.  Four days prior to when I should have started (Today being the day I should have started) I started to get light spotting and sharp jabbing pains.  Now two days prior to that M and had sex and I started having period like cramping and told him that I couldn’t go on.  I have never had that happen before and no spotting until two days later when the jabbing pain started.  It wasn’t unbearable pain but it was unusual pain.  Then on the third day of spotting I got a full on flow with light/moderate cramping and now I am almost done with my period, if that is what it is.  I have been experiencing weird abdominal pains all during it.

So I have still bought pregnancy tests because I just want to double check (and I still have a bit of hope) since everything has been abnormal.  It sucks knowing that it won’t be until April that we can try again.  I wonder why it is just not happening.  I hope the exercising will help get my body in shape and prepared for a baby.

I have made myself a promise.  If I loose 10lbs and get my body into shape like I want then I am going to get a belly button ring, and pay for some tanning.  Oh yeah.  M heard my belly button ring idea and the biggest smile broke out on his face.  So I have one month to do it.  I want an awesome stomach before I get it so I am excited about this.

Not much else has been going on.  Just trying to sell M’s truck and do our taxes which is a headache in itself.

The Silly

I am currently watching 10.5 Apocolypse.  The original one made me laugh and so does this one.  Still I can’t take my eyes off of it.  I guess it just comes from what little geology I did have before leaving school that makes me laugh a bit.  Granted it is better than watching nothing.

We worked on the Christmas lights today.  Almost finished, I think it will look cool.  I even did a tree outline with some of the lights.  I would love more lights to put up but oh well.  M realized I was right today about having more lights.  Lol, figures.  He states he still will most likely not listen to me in the future.  Great.

Side note, I keep getting side pains and they are a bit confusing and annoying.  I am a bit worried as to what they could be but that is all I am.  We are still trying for a baby but no luck yet.  I don’t get how it is that some people get so lucky the first time they have sex with someone and then others can try and plan and nothing for a long time.  I mean it has only been 3-4 months that we have been trying but still, if I had known this about my chances I would have not been so paranoid in the beginning.

Baking fool

Not really but you know.  I baked butterscotch cookies last night.  I don’t have the recipe in front of me but should anyone want it I will get off my arse and go get it if you ask.  They are yummy.  I made M take a bag to work and then I left the rest in my cute little bear jar that has a sign you can flip that either says “I’m hungry” or “I’m Full”.  Hah, how cute.  My momma got me that for a moving present. M thinks me the devil for baking such a delicious treat that he feels compelled to eat.  I mean just because his diet has gone down the crapper this month doesn’t mean I can’t bake cookies.  I will be making more cookies too for that matter!  Also cheese cake!  Yes two types of cheese cake.  I made them 2 weeks ago and they were da bomb.  One was a blackberry swirl cheesecake that i had to bake and the other was a black forest cheese cake that required only refrigeration.  Again, recipes out of my reach.  Just ask and I will get em, or who knows in a couple of days I will do it anyways.

Okay so the I had a stupid moment 2 weeks ago.  I covered the cat box to do something and forgot to uncover it for like 2 whole days.  Yes, I am that dumb.  My cat thanked me though.  He held off on shitting until the end of day two, but pissing he couldn’t.  I didn’t realize until after my parents left that it was in the recliner in the spare bedroom where my mother slept (she has a bad back and must sleep in a chair) that it was in the freaking chair that he pissed.  I thanked the heavens that it wasn’t the floor because I didn’t want to loose my deposit.  So now that my parent’s have gone I am trying my hardest to get the smell of cat piss out of that chair.  I think it is a lost cause but it is my moms bed for visiting and I don’t want to toss it.  It isn’t like we are swimming in money with me not working.  So I bough natures miracle and am hoping that stuff will work. I soaked the spot yesterday and today it smelled a bit like it wasn’t as bad but I figured I would soak it again.  So I am crossing my fingers and hoping that I can get that horrible smell out.

So to any of you reading this, how many work from home?  What is that you do from home?  I am trying to plan for when we have a kid.  Here is the thing, we aren’t ready for a kid yet because we need to know where we will be in 9 months which at this time we don’t.  However, as much as i tell him to wrap his tool up I keep thinking I am pregnant, every freaking month for the past 3-4 months.  There is always one day that month that I will say okay, you can go au natural and we do.  This is usually when I “think” I am safe.  We all know that means nothing sometimes so I always think I am.  Then when I get my period I am half relieved and half disappointed.  What is wrong with me?!  I know we can’t have a kid yet, I don’t want a kid yet.  Heck even with the best birth control in the world having come and visit I still kind of want one of those monsters.  Bah.  I just need to save up money and then we will be fine and I will be happy.

Family Visitation

The family is still here.  I still have the best birth control on earth.  I love my sister and brother’s kids.  They make me want to have kids.  Mainly cause I can yell at them and tell them to stop that.  So maybe it would be different if it was our own, and we only had one.  M has been working so it is just me with his family (lucky effing dog).  They leave tomorrow.  Honestly a good bunch of people, I just, want to tell the kids to go play outside more.   

I have two application out in the world now, not hearing anything back yet but lets hope.  It would be nice to even have $500 more a month.  We want to sell his Dodge 1500 quadcab Hemi – Bighorn package.  It is only a year old with 10,000 miles on it.  He loves it, I love it but we don’t need it.  He has a work truck.  We would be able to get a house easier in a few months too if we didn’t have the truck though and could save the money instead.

Met all of our neighbors last night.  Nice bunch, different bunch.  One wife of 2 kids has me jealous.  Tiny little thing with the rockin tan and body, smaller than me and she has had two kids!  I am so jealous.  I want that body.  I need to lose some weight.  10lbs is all I want to lose or think I need to lose to love my body.  I weigh 136lbs so I would be very happy to be under 130.  

My parents will be up in less than a week with my niece now.  I am excited.  My mom hardly goes anywhere and the longest trip she had been on was a 3hour one to visit me at school.  So now she gets to drive 4 1/2 hours.  I hope her back holds up to it.

P.S. His mom is a smoker and while she only smokes outside it is all that I smell and on my new furniture so it really bugs me.  I wish I could say you have to quit while you are staying here but I can’t.  I want to spray her in febreeze each time she walks through the door.  My new furniture will be sprayed once they leave.  I hate the smell of smoke.