Filled with happiness

It is a great day. I just had a moment where I was standing at work and just filled with love for my husband and thinking I get to spend the rest of my life with him, my best friend. It just made me so happy.

Mylie has learned to roll over and it is so cute. I can’t wait to teach her new tricks. I think I will teach her to shake next. She can’t stand when I get excited because I go to high pitch.

I am so excited about our vacation that is coming up towards the end of May. We are going to have so much fun. I am just so freakin happy today and love M.

New love

I still love M so very much, but this new section on yahoo called “shine” has introduced me to some new amazing things such as The Red Dress Shoppe. I want to buy so many of the dresses, tops and skirts. Oh what a girl could do with some major cash. I was just thinking the other night after watching the movie Charlie Wilson’s war how much I would love to see if a pencil skirt would look good on me and then I come across this site. Oh how I wonder.

Gardening Fool

I have spent approximately 3 hours this weekend doing actual gardening and another 2 hours shopping for stuff to do the gardening.  It is such a great feeling to work hard and see a yard I hated because it looked so crappy turn into something that looks lovely and clean.  I did some major weeding yesterday.  I wish I had this one tool that I don’t know the name of but it takes care of weeds like no problem and walmart did not have it.  I also planted some flowers in a new pot and our flower bed.  Then i bough mulch today and laid it out under the roses where there was a ton of weeds prior.  It looks so much better.  Now I just need to take care of the lawn with all of it’s bare spots, weeds and crab grass.  That is going to be a big challenge. 

M went out fishing yesterday for most of the day, and now is out golfing.   He needs his fun time I know.  It just sucks not having any friends or family here that I can spend my time with when he is off having fun.

Yesterday I also rented 6 movies, 3 of which I have already watched.  Powering through.  M says we can buy a new vaccum with our next paychecks which makes me happy cause we need it.   I know M is going to come home and not want to do anything and just say “I am tired” which means I get to finish the dishes and the laundry, joy.  Oh well.  This is my life. 

life, not so interesting

There has not been much to type about this past week because I lead a really boring life.  This past weekend I cleaned, but not enough.  I want to do a deep clean where I scrub in the corners but need more days off to get motivated for that.  I then did 7 loads of laundry and bbq out in the sun, while it snowed.  Yes, while it snowed.  Steak was good but I was cold. 

Had a chance to get a Wii this weekend.  M didn’t want us to spend $450 even though we had both discussed getting one, and both wanted one.  There was a disagreement followed by a misunderstanding and as such I am Wii free. I am disappointed with this.  I want one, and a new laptop.

M had his interview this past Monday.  We don’t know how it will go.  I have my hopes, but M doesn’t think it will happen so that is making things sad.  I am proud of him though, and will always be proud.

Introspective of myself

Today at work I started thinking, and couldn’t stop. I was just thinking of myself, who I am and what I need to do to be a better person. It was just all running through my head to the point that I had to write it down and so I did.

Change in my personal life is not something I adjust to easily. Moving away from my family a year ago was something I wanted and needed to do but still have had a very difficult time adjusting to. I love my parents, they have been my best friends all my life. It saddens me not to have them around. I don’t cry as much when we leave their place after a visit anymore. I am getting use to living away from them. My husband is my new best friend and I love him so much. I know I have a strong personality that can be tough to live with. In fact I think I have developed a bit of my mother’s “negative” personality as I would always tell her. I don’t think I am as bad as she is, at least not yet. When someone brings up the hope of doing something a certain way I will almost always bring up how that might not happen that way if I have any reason to believe that it wont. Call me the glass half empty girl. I guess it is my way of bracing for the bad news possibility rather than get my hopes up and be disappointed. I have been disappointed a lot in my short life and need to learn to hope and expect the best and not worry when I am disappointed because I do have a lot to be happy for. I don’t do it all the time, but I need to do it less. When M brought an idea to me I automatically said “well, they may not allow it.” Why can’t I just say we can look into it and weigh the options? I did what my mom would do, something I always hated. I want M and me to be on the same page more. Asking him to change is tough because he has to want to. At least if I work upon myself I can’t then put all the blame on me thus lowering myself esteem even more. I am my own worst critic. I feel like I am a very mature individual with the decisions I make and how responsible I am, but emotionally I have a ways to go. My skin isn’t thick enough, but I guess that is what happens when growing up you don’t have many friends and the ones you do have always tried to hurt you. I need to work on me so that I can become more at ease with living with my new best friend. Like with getting use to living away from my parents, living with someone else and getting use to this “us” will take time. I figure at least 6 more months before it feels like we have always lived together because that gives me more time to work on me. I love that man, I tell him all the time, I just hope he knows it. Some examples to myself of why I know I need to work on myself, (1) not going with M to his interviews has me so upset that I am taking it out on him. (2)The dog, I am jealous of his affection to the dog. I need to not look out for my own happiness, but “ours” instead.